The truth is, I wasn’t always in the relationship I deserve and I didn’t always know I had the power. On the outside I was living my dream, checking off my goals and driving my dream car, but behind closed doors, I was living a lie. In a quest for perfectionism and a fear of being a failure to outsiders, I never shared with anyone that I was in a toxic and abusive relationship. Physically, emotionally and mentally I was secretly fighting one of the darkest, hardest fights of my life. Debilitated by my own fear, I stayed in a place I didn’t belong for far too long and felt like I had no options. With three children under the age of 3, stuck behind the notion of not wanting to be a single mom, looking like a failure or for the world to know that behind this strong, happy, determined woman was a woman who was secretly dying inside.
I wasn’t one to settle, so why was I settling in this area of my life? I began to dig deep to reclaim my power and ponder on all the things I’d been through - the journey of starting my business, and the power it took to overcome all the challenges and obstacles set before me. When I knew that it was time I paid attention to the patterns of my life to believe in myself, take control, stop settling and become the CEO of my own life - realizing everything always works out, everything always took me to a greater destination than I imagined, we always grow, and the things I somehow thought I couldn’t survive, I somehow always made it through. It was then that I made the most difficult decisions to date, and walked away from the toxic, abusive relationship that held me captive for so long.
I used to think that these were possibly just the cards I was dealt and maybe mine was just that bad set of cards, but the truth is - we are not given a good life or bad life. We are given a life, and it is up to us to make it good or bad, and it was time to create a life I designed. For you, it may not be a relationship or even something drastic, it may be a goal you have, a change you want to make, a passion you want to pursue, or a leap you want to take. Regardless of what it is, living as the CEO of your life will give you the power to go after what you want and never settle for less. Through my journey, I had to reclaim my power and step into this position, today I'm sharing
3 keys to becoming the CEO of your own life:
Believe in yourself. This has to be a key ingredient in your secret sauce. You have the power to do whatever it is you want, but the first step is you have to believe you can. To build confidence in yourself start by looking back on all your successes and how much power you've shown through everything you have made it through up until this point. Remind yourself of the things you somehow thought you couldn’t survive, and how you somehow always made it through. Think back on how you've always been shown that everything always works out, and although it may turn out different than you plan, it also may be better than you can imagine. In the midst of hard times or new adventures, these past times can be easily overlooked, but you can’t let them, this is where your power is being stored. Reflect on those times to walk your mind through them and the outcomes to remind yourself how powerful you are, let that build confidence and trust within yourself to recharge your battery for what you’re currently facing. What’s set before you may be scary but acknowledge that the feeling of fear is a natural feeling, so don't let that take your power away as I did, after all, any "unknown'' is usually scary right?! When you believe in yourself and you recycle your track record to continuously refuel you and remind yourself of the true power you hold, even in the toughest times you will be able to proudly stand up and not only say you got this, but know you got this!
I had to "take control" of my life back. That didn't mean I had control over what was to come or the outcome of my future. But it did mean, I had to become the one in charge, set boundaries, stand up for myself, and let go of all of the notions and judgments from others that I was so worried about. You are the only one in your shoes, it is up to you and it’s time you start living that way. No one is going to go after what you want the way you will stop asking for permission or seeking approval from others before you go after what you want. Although it is great to seek advice and have a support system, you might not always get the support you need. Let go of the fear of what others may think or say, even some of the greatest people were thought to be crazy during their journey. Becoming the CEO of your life means, you’re in charge, you lead the way and to do so you must be so determined that you won’t let anything or anyone get in your way.
Stop Settling. Life is way too short to live a life designed for anyone but yourself. I had to make the deep determination that I was going to stop settling in all areas of my life. Once you realize that you have the power to create the life you want and live out your dreams it then comes down to you, and not letting anything or anyone deter you or accept anything less until you get there. It doesn’t happen overnight but your first step is to reflect to discover what it is that you do want. It’s important to have a clear picture of what you want, I like to use vision boards, notes on my bathroom mirror, quote boards, anything that will help you to fully envision what you are working to achieve. Have confidence and be vocal about what you want and what you’re going after. Each day do at least one thing that is in line with that, and when something isn’t, don’t go along or agree with something you don’t really want. I know this can be the tough part but when you do that, you start to build a life that isn’t based on your own needs and identity and it takes you down the path of settling. We get one life, this isn’t a dress rehearsal, don’t wait for the right time, it may never come, it's up to us to determine what we do.
Let me serve as living proof that regardless of your situation or environment, how big or small it may be, you are the CEO of your life - you can create the life you want, just remember to keep going, you can reinvent any part of your life at any time. You’re the CEO, what will you create?
You’ve got the power! xo