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Woman of Impact: Renee Slansky

Dating and Relationship Coach, Entrepreneur, and Dog Mum!

She is also the founder of the number 1 dating and relationship blog in Australia and has had her teachings translated into several languages and has curated several online programs that have helped 100's of women break cycles and find real love.

Her teachings can be seen in college textbooks across America or you can catch her on her YouTube channel which has over 80k subscribers. Hailed as 'the next Oprah' Renee is on a mission to break generational toxic cycles, impact the dating culture, lower divorce, and bring a revolution of love education to the world.

Can you briefly walk us through your story of becoming the woman you are today?

I started my blog The Dating Directory out of pure passion and wanting to help other women in 2013 as I was dating a man who had a child with another woman and I was trying to navigate this type of relationship. I had had years of dating and bring in and put of toxic relationships and I wanted to write publicly on my blog what not to do in love! I was then asked to give advice to other publications and dating sites like eHarmony and the Huff Post. Which later developed into more contributions for global dating sites and publications, speaking at events, and my blog becoming the number 1 of its niche in Australia and top 30 in the world.

With a background in tv and modeling, I then went on talk shows and radio to give more dating and love advice, and eventually, I became the go-to dating and relationship expert in Sydney. This later developed into coaching and producing online programs and my Youtube channel. The rest is history!

What is the most impactful experience that has shaped who you are today? * I think it was an accumulation of 10 years of broken relationships that got me to the point where I realized I was the common denominator in my life and that I was responsible for the choices I was making. I wouldn't put it down to one experience, but rather I would say up to this point I have had 3 epiphanies :

- I can't keep blaming men for my brokenness, I am choosing to date these men and I am also responsible for the quality of relationships I build, I am the common denominator after all!

- If I want life to be a certain way, no one is coming to rescue me, I need to rescue myself and choose actions, words, and a mentality that sets me up, no more playing the victim, this is my life I am responsible for it!

- What do I already have in my hands that I can use, instead of believing the answer in obtaining something new to fix my problems.

Has it been a smooth road? What were some of the struggles along the way?

It was never smooth, in fact, everything that I had planned in my head never went to plan ha!

I went from 10 years of brokenness, dating narcissist and toxic men, questioning life and God, having depression and contemplating suicide and being bullied to finding myself, real love, and building a 6 figure business that impacts the world.

At one point my own relationship collapsed and we rebuilt again. In amongst all of that I also almost got to the point of bankruptcy, have moved 12 times in 6 years and of course, had to learn how to direct the world in love during a pandemic.

Things may have not been smooth, but without growth, you stagnate and cannot produce fruit!

I broke my cycles of toxic relationships by getting help, I rebuilt my relationship through setting boundaries, communicating, focus on God, and romancing each other again, and choosing commitment over feelings.

I got out of debt and made my business successful through, mentorship, strategy, and consistency.

I applied logic instead of emotionally reacting and I allowed myself moments to breakdown but then picked myself back up and CHOSE to continue and fight because I knew what I was worthy of and what was created for me.

What's something that you're currently doing or working on that excites you or you're most proud of? *

I am currently refining my first mentorship program to help train other women out there who want to also be love educators and coaches to impact the world. I believe a woman of impact also creates a legacy and has a duty to be able to raise other women of impact.

I have also just launched my first ever monthly online membership that aims to make love education and coaching affordable and accessible to all women over the world. This is called The Flourish Project and the heart behind it is to help women live and love unapologetically the way they were called to be. It is an online portal for monthly coaching lessons, webinars, interviews, affirmations, meditations, and a community of like-minded women. This is a dream I had 7 years ago and now it has finally come to life!

How does what you're currently doing now impact you? *

I think that it impacts me in a few ways, first, it makes me feel incredibly fulfilled to know that I am living my purpose, contributing to the world, and honoring what gifts and purpose God has given me. It also increases my capacity, makes my own relationship with my husband more fulfilling, and has helped us build another legacy's outside of my business. I think the greatest impact is the wisdom and humbleness that has come with building a business and helping others.

What advice would you give to fellow women trying to make an impact? *

Leadership is lonely and purpose is a lifetime journey with different intentions in different seasons. There will be days you will be on fire and other days where you will be fearful or tired.

Stop trying to explain yourself to people who are committed to misunderstanding you, your worth is not in numbers or other people's acceptance or validation of what you do or who you are.

Stay the course, discern whom to align with, and stay consistent even in the storms.

The purpose is where you have both a sense of peace and urgency.

Lastly, if you have a desire, then it is an indication that what you want has been created already for you to fulfill or receive. Your dreams are indications of what is to come. The world needs you, and it is never too late to start.

How do you create "balance" in your life with all you do? *

I focus on boundaries. Boundaries are there to create the balance we need. Whether that is saying no to business commitments, clients, or too much free time, I have learned where my burnout point and also where I can procrastinate, and now I focus on prevention rather than adaption.

I also don't book any clients or meetings on Wednesdays and don't do work on weekends. I make sure that when I am with family or my husband that I am present instead of being divided.

I also keep my home clean, organized, and inviting so that I feel my space is productive. I take time out each day to have a self-love date, which usually is just a walk with my dog and a coffee!

Creating balance isn't about going to extremes, but rather finding out where you need to counteract in order to maintain balance.

We as women have many superpowers, what is one of yours? *

Ooo good question. I think it would be wisdom. I was born an old soul, and have wisdom and the ability to discern and direct in a split second. Whilst I am constantly learning and soaking in education, I do believe God has gifted me with wisdom. Sometimes I say things and don't even know where it comes from haha!

Anything else you'd like to share that you haven't?

I think that one thing I learned about being a woman of impact, is that impact doesn't always look like how you think it would.

I was told at 18 yrs old that God would set me up for life over the next 2 years, and honestly, it was probably the worst 2 years of my life! I started my toxic cycles of broken relationships and rejection, wanted to commit suicide, and was broke.

And even when I did break the cycle and meet my husband, that also broke down at one point and I almost gave up on every level.

'Breakthrough' needs to have the 'break' before we have the 'through' part. Growth is not pretty and becoming a leader and woman of impact usually means your journey will test you and not go to plan. But just because it didn't go to YOUR plan doesn't mean it didn't have a purpose.

I know now that some of the greatest impacts that I will make will actually be long after I am gone. That if you want to be a world-changer you can't do it alone or in just your lifetime. Impact is also about legacy, maybe you are the seed that needs to be planted. Or maybe you are the watering can to nourish other people's seed, or perhaps your purpose is to be the fruit ...either way we all have a purpose in our lifetime. Don't limit what you can do based on what you think it looks like. Just don't give up.

Connect with Renee on Instagram

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